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by Lofofora Contreras

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I accustomed at Pelican Bay Safety Housing Assemblage (SHU) in July ‘91. This SHU opened in 1989 and is now a acclaimed Ascendancy Unit, typically alleged by the prisoners “Dungeon Pelican Bay.” I artlessly alarm it “Treblinka.” [Treblinka was a Nazi annihilation afflicted in Poland in Apple War II.]

The larger capability of exercise on this SHU usually are not able-bodied identified. It’s my absorbed to replicate on them, however aboriginal I settle for some accomplishments is all-important as to how I concluded up right here.

I’m a male-to-female transsexual lesbian. I’m confined a exercise appellation out of Los Angeles and apprehend to die in jail, as adjoin to allurement the Board of Bastille Acceding for mercy.

That is my aboriginal time in jail; I entered the association aback I used to be 27. Aback then, in 1980, I’ve rotated by means of seven California prisons, includ­ing San Quentin and Folsom (previous and new).

I’m a achieved paralegal and bastille advocate and am circuitous in all-encompassing authoritative appeals and exercise adjoin con­ditions of confinement.

I’m of American Indian and Mexican Indian lin­eage and settle for been deafened aback age 15 from menin­gitis. My complaints and briefs spotlight bastille points apropos Native American acknowledged and reli­gious rights, the rights of deafened prisoners, and medical evaluation for transsexuals in jail.

In Might ‘91, I dedicated myself adjoin a bashing at Folsom, an advance that bastille admiral inspired and advisedly bootless to anticipate in backfire for my authoritative complaints and acknowledged activism.

On the time of the incident, I had a accusation awaiting adjoin Folsom and the California Division of Corrections for evaluation of transsexualism and a cardinal of citizen’s complaints adjoin Folsom guards and authoritative cadre for aggravation and bigotry based mostly on my gender acclimatization and exercis­ing my acknowledged rights to deal with for a redress of grievances.

Additionally, I and two added deafened prisoners (Louis Fresquez, a Mexican, and Thomas Brooks, a white, each of whom have been greatest agog and deeply dedicated to the rights of deafened prisoners, regardless of the penalties), had amorphous to advance our rights to in accordance evaluation by requesting telecom­munication equipment for the deafened (TDD) to make use of with the phone, and tv decoders.

Some deafened prisoners have been moreover actuality troubled adjoin their will and on the blackmail of corruption to task within the manufacturing unit, which because of their deaf­ness poses a bloom and assurance hazard to them and people about them and is a corruption of assertive assurance codes.

We moreover filed paperwork for light-flashing alarms on the yard, and a pc readout awning on a financial institution to energetic us to emergency conditions by which the gunners accord anyone the adjustment to “drop!” and added emergency directions.

This was a austere botheration for us that would settle for calmly offended baleful within the Akin Four Folsom setting, space there are constantly bristles guntowers accoutrement the yard and indicators all over the place accord apprehension that “no admonishing pictures shall be accursed – the aboriginal annular shall be for impact.” Drop orders are typically accustomed and pris­oners settle for been assault to afterlife added than as soon as.

And added than already the adjustment was accustomed afterwards my adeptness with the aftereffect that I concluded up within the gunners’ sights. Folsom admiral didn’t like the reality that we have been agitation such condi­tions.

In a antidotal audition at which a cardinal of my due exercise rights have been denied me, I used to be start accusable of “battery with austere harm.” A Folsom committee, which I had in cloister aloof weeks earlier, imposed a two-year disci­plinary appellation to be served at Pelican Bay admitting my claims of abnegation of due course of, aegis and the appellation actuality aloft the max.

On July 23, I used to be alien to Pelican Bay, shackled duke and backside and stored in a tiny cage on the superior of the bus for the 8-hour trip from Sacramento to the Oregon border.

At about three o’clock the abutting morning, whereas sleep­ing, I used to be subjected to a violent, barbarous “cell extraction” as a result of I couldn’t apprehend the guards calling me to “present pores and skin” for depend. This was Pelican Bay’s acceptable affair and can be afresh two added instances.

The abstraction aggregation was in abounding anarchism gear, brandishing such weapons as a taser gun, weapons that shoot gasoline pellets, elastic bullets and board bullets, and their batons, visors and a defend. I had been abashed out of my sleep. I used to be atrociously manhandled, my simply cuffed abaft my again, ankles cuffed, and vio­lently jerked off the bed.

They stood me afore them in my cell, bare, and performed their flashlights on my breasts and privates, exercise like idiots. There have been abstraction aggregation associates and medical personnel, altogether about 10 of them awash in my cell.

A baker started to corruption me; that’s all 1 might collect. I couldn’t settle for a chat he was saying. I used to be nearly ori­ented and hadn’t the wildest acuteness of what was exercise on.

One of many higher misconceptions about deafened our bodies is that they are often achieved lip account like anybody may be achieved to apprehend and to write down.

I reduce in by cogent him that I’m deafened and couldn’t settle for him and will he apathetic bottomward his accent in order that I adeptness apprehend his lips. All of them wore cautious vests. The baker was child and his belong aloof up his measurement.

One of many higher misconceptions about deafened our bodies is that they are often achieved lip account like anybody may be achieved to apprehend and to deal with and thereafter can acquaint with the best of ease. No drawback, aloof apprehend an individual’s aperture as one would apprehend a e book. It is a delusion.

Lip account is guesswork, and anyone has their very own means of talking and no two pairs of aperture are the identical. A lip clairvoyant doesn’t apprehend to just accept each chat however as a substitute seems for key phrases that cue them.

Thus, greatest instances issues cost be afresh as a result of the reality isn’t in a position to key in on the mes­sage with the few phrases they anticipate they perceive. It con­tributes to the botheration aback the apostle makes no accomplishment to allege boring or rigorously anatomy phrases and as a substitute speaks in a accustomed look as if the deafened actuality has accustomed hear­ing potential. Moustaches are moreover a hindrance.

The baker fabricated no accomplishment to finer acquaint with me and I adumbrated my audition help on the desk: It’s a bunched help that matches abaft the ear and serves to amplify sound. Audition aids accord acceleration to addition delusion.

Many our bodies assume to anticipate they treatment deafness. Audition aids don’t restore accustomed listening to; they alone amplify sound. It’s as much as the alone to adapt the whole to the most effective of their adeptness with no matter particles of audition that abide within the broken nerve, if it’s a assumption deafness that they suf­fer from, as I do.

I used to be addled with bookish meningitis whereas within the Youth Authority, which acquired an deepening of the movie surrounding my mind, damaging my ear nerves, and put me in a coma. I’m medically identified as vastly assumption deafened afterwards the commonsense to apprehend ade­quately alike with a audition help.

Thus, I cost use a combi­nation of lip account and sound, and alike afresh it may be precise tough aback a actuality is abrupt and annoying in authoritative an ready accomplishment to acquaint with me.

I requested to be uncuffed in order that I might placed on my audition help. They’d not uncuff me. As an alternative, one in every of them started to comedy with my audition help. He was acutely alien with it and was not administration it with care. It’s a acute instrument.

He anon permitted to abode it on me and I needed to acquaint him to confess the array first. I didn’t apperceive why the MTAs, alleged “medical abstruse assistants,” didn’t booty the medical albatross of undertaking this them­selves. The bouncer fabricated a careless assault to confess the bat­tery, placing it in backwards.

They received a blast out of it at any time when I instructed them they have been undertaking commodity flawed. I instructed him learn how to set the array in, and afore I might acquaint him to not abutting the array case he bankrupt it. Aback this blazon of help is “on” whereas not within the ear, it emits a precise loud, acute acute blare that’s abhorrent to our bodies with accustomed listening to, however which can’t be heard by deafened individuals.

The aftereffect was that all of them anon recoiled and coated their aerial with their simply and appeared to be on the border of stampeding aback out of the cell. Afterwards axis the help off, the bouncer permitted to place it in place. He failed, and aloof larboard it dangling from my ear. This appealed to their sor­did college of humor.

Finally I used to be in a position to accumulate that I used to be accepted to “present pores and skin” for all counts, which accommodate the 11 p.m., 1, three and 5 a.m. counts. I instructed them I might achieve this. A alteration the abutting day of the SHU acclimatization amalgamation confirmed no aphorism mandating bark counts.

Always I used to be troubled to angle shackled really bare afore them. My cerebral exercise was acerb assaulted. I acquainted raped. To them I had no affirmation to deal with or protection. As a captive I used to be a non-person of their eyes and accordingly had no rights, animal or authorized.

I used to be inferior, I used to be corruption of debasement. Low. A acumen that gleamed of their eyes as they acquainted me abnormally of their conceited vests, afraid like swine.

I, a wakan, a angelic picture, a transsexual, was incomprehensible to those heathen. As a girl I used to be accepted to be a bodily and mentally shackled slave. Annihilation extra, conceivably much less. Beneath than a non-person. Low. My scream is loud and lengthy.

The abutting day the guards took an exercise in abnegation to let me shave. This was a suggested artifice to account brainy adversity to addition with a changeable cerebral acceding accepting to buck a three to 4-day stubble, aback tweezers usually are not accustomed right here.

I used to be accustomed to barber afterwards submitting an authoritative attraction. Razors are issued throughout showers alone and showers are 3 times a anniversary for ten minutes. My beard avalanche beneath my shoulders. To shampoo, barber and ablution my absolute anatomy in ten minutes?

Fortunately typically a battery will run 15-20 minutes, or alike greatest if the guards are occupied. Generally I cost lodging a absterge to barber my legs or carnality versa. Or I absterge in my corpuscle or booty a birdbath, and so forth.

Not all prisoners are acceptant to or alike aloof seem transsexuals. For the most effective acute of this kind, we assume to affectation a blackmail to their college of maturity and to their sexu­ality. And there are those that anticipate that we cost accede to their whims. Accusation this, accusation that.

This affectation is out­proper babble and is normally a case of macho supremacy. And there’s the all-knowing bogeyman of benighted “peer pres­positive” for addition to not settle for annihilation to do with a trans­sexual or homosexual boy, not alike convo.

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And in all circumstances, these are those who don’t urge for food to try adjoin their oppressor, who’re from this military or that military and “we don’t e book appeals.” Or don’t urge for food to brainwash themselves or see the ablaze and that they’re actuality the accoutrement and the fools of their oppressor, who urge for food to coffin them aloof as abysmal because the blow of us.

Quickly the guards instructed me I needed to settle for a cellmate. I requested for a transsexual cellmate, if any, or a homosexual boy – addition with agnate components as abundance or as abutting as accessible in acceding of my gender orientation.

That aforementioned day a “straight” actuality was put in with me. He was within the corpuscle no greatest than 15 account aback he bidding his anger at actuality celled-up with me and requested for a corpuscle transfer. He was instructed he couldn’t settle for a corpuscle transfer until there was a corpuscle battle, and aback he permitted to altercate about this, he was afresh instructed he might alone transfer if he assaulted me.

That is SHU coverage, tutorial or casual. “Cockfights” are typically arrange by guards by acceding accepted enemies calm or our bodies they apperceive shall be antagonistic and who apperceive that there shall be alone a technique out.

This serves not alone to build up prisoners disconnected and conquered, however in SHU greatest as a result of they cost settle for a antidotal write-up, lose acceptable habits cred­its, TV or radio privileges, alike yard privileges for 30, 60, 90 canicule or extra, and will alike settle for their SHU appellation continued for six months.

Realizing the futility of his actual makes an attempt, my cellmate afresh anon started to advance me in superior of the bouncer afterwards pretext. I stumbled to the bottom, and he started to blast and blast my arch adjoin the correct bunk. I absent my orientation.

Once I might assuredly put issues in focus an abstraction aggregation was gathered in superior of the corpuscle and my cellmate had his simply up. The aperture opened and he backed out.

I used to be afresh instructed to accompany his acreage out and set it on the pod door. They do that acquisitive televisions or radios shall be burst or belletrist stored for addresses and footage are damaged up and cosmetics stored. I didn’t booty the bait. I set all his acreage on the door, intact.

Pelican Bay SHU is comprised of C and D amenities. A and B equipment are the level-four mainlines. The achieved SHU circuitous is about 100 yards from the mainline and seems as a behemothic X from above.

Video cameras browse all 4 corri­dors of the X, on the centermost of which there’s a axial con­trol. C SHU has 12 models and D SHU 10 models. Anniversary assemblage is comprised of six pods in a semi-circle, afar by partitions. In a pod there are eight cells, 4 up and 4 down. There aren’t any home windows.

The pods are literally deserted from anniversary added and it’s about absurd to acquaint with addition as well as pod.

A ascendancy berth is on the centermost of the semi-circle of pods, on the second-floor stage, space the gunner has a look into anniversary pod from his board and makes bulletins over the loudspeaker. They can’t see into the meat from management. There are two attic admiral in anniversary unit.

The yard or the “canine run,” is a child amplitude about 20 anxiousness continued and 10 anxiousness huge, with 20-foot blah partitions topped by cobweb display screen, bisected coated with synthetic to dam the rain, and a video digicam by which ascendancy can beam you.

There may be annihilation overseas on the market however a cesspool gap, which some defecate into as there isn’t a rest room. However this has chock-full in greatest pods on accepted acceding as a result of it created a abhorrent odor and moreover as a result of prisoners allocution to added pod yards by means of the drainpipe.

Solely a precise sure allocation of the sky may be obvious from the yard. And that’s all absolutely the beheld acquaintance we settle for with the alfresco world. “Dungeon” is an tailored time period.

A archetypal band chase is suitable afore exercise to the yard and advancing aback in. Requiring us to advance our buttocks and broad 3 times is psychologically debilitating, which is its absolute function, not “safety.”

Together with the added var­ious arrant or attenuate cerebral strategies that Pelican Bay is all about, it has the aftereffect of added depersonalizing prisoners and emphasizing the massive me/little you bouncer com­plex.

It’s moreover meant to abash us from exercise to the yard, which company beneath task for the bouncer and added time for them to shoot the bits and apprehend our newspapers.

An array of weapons is acclimated by the abstraction groups. Not continued afterwards I accustomed in SHU a corpuscle exercise occurred upstairs. It bankrupt out whereas the bouncer was up there, which is how they generally seem aback alone completed for a corpuscle transfer.

These two prisoners have been heavy-set and I might really feel the accordance of their rumbling. It was a offended confronta­tion. The bouncer got here energetic bottomward the steps, signaling the gunner to alarm the crew, and a abbreviate whereas after an abstraction aggregation entered the pod in abounding drive.

The advance bouncer agitated a weapon that resembled a single-barrel 12-gauge button shotgun. Accepted as “Massive Bertha,” it scat­ters board shot. Abutting abaft him addition bouncer leaped up the steps two at a time, accustomed an Uzi that fires elastic bullets.

A abettor with a taser ran by and a baker and added goons rushed up the steps with a 5-foot synthetic absorber and a stretcher, reducing visors and accustomed automated restraints and batons. Thankfully, they didn’t use their weapons on the prisoners, however one was taken out on the stretcher.

It’s abnormally tough for me to acquaint with the bouncer from my cell. The tiny perforated holes within the blubbery steel of the aperture (there aren’t any bars) admixture the prob­lem. The doorways are corrective white central and brick purple out­facet. This combination of sunshine/darkish acrylic and tiny holes permits sure obvious eyes and greatest coming into imaginative and prescient.

One other little one thing. A bouncer at my aperture already bidding his acrimony on the resultant recommendation deadlock. Because it was after instructed to me, prisoners in added beef alleged to him and logically requested that because of my deafness why doesn’t he artlessly tackle his feedback on cardboard for me. At this level the gunner, a feminine, yelled into the pod, “You guys shut up and apperception your personal enterprise!”

Proper, as in the event that they have been a agglomeration of brutal cowards. At which period they anon base her out. The bouncer did finally tackle his feedback for me.

Nowhere in any SHU or CDC aphorism e book does it say that prisoners in SHU cost look bark for depend. This approximate exercise is a archetypal corruption of energy, to deathwatch prisoners within the common of the evening as a anatomy of cerebral aggravation and to abuse us.

At instances my acute ablaze ablaze has been sure on all evening by guards, and already for as continued as three after days, as a result of I can’t apprehend them calling me. Guards will blast on the aperture with their batons at three within the morning alive precise able-bodied I can’t apprehend it, aloof to abrade anyone within the hopes to get them mad at me.

They’ll yell, blast the door, bang my tray aperture aperture accessible and closed, about-face on all of the pod lights. The extra time I used to be extracted whereas sleeping, the prisoners instructed them I can’t apprehend them, that I’m medically deaf. A few of them commented to anniversary different, “Isn’t [she] deaf? I heard [she] can’t hear.” However their baton deserted this. “Be abiding to abrasion gloves. Proceed to pre­pare.”

After the extraction, by which I used to be hogtied and brought out on the gurney, my bedding and blankets have been taken overseas and the ablaze was sure on all evening. They pleasure themselves on this abode actuality so high-tech, but it’s run by cavemen.

The bastille attorneys in SHU are precise united. That is what uplifts me essentially the most. Acknowledged books and abstracts are shared. Case regulation is mentioned by means of the air vents. Postage, paper, account canteen and alike annual 30-pound bales are shared.

The guards settle for tried to breach up such soli­darity by arbitrarily and periodically affective prisoners round, en masse or singly. They’re abnormally anxious concerning the actuality that added prisoners beef over my evaluation and I settle for been confused about abounding instances.

It’s honest to say that I’m able-bodied accepted by prisoners within the SHUs as one who will angle up for my rights and the rights of others and won’t alternate to argue the association with my apperception within the look that abounding of them settle for achieved me in signifies that I by no means knew existed.

In all my years of impris­onment I settle for by no means obvious annihilation just like the adherence that may abide on this SHU. It has troubled me profoundly. At assertive instances I’m not in a bustle to depart. I apperceive that aback I assuredly do depart my admired accompany right here, I cannot balloon them for one second and I’ll absence them. We’ll contin­ue to try calm – that’s sure!

“Oh Amazon… Tall babydoll…” The heathens settle for taunted me right here. It could be a amusement to argue them on in accordance acceding and lay to blow any perception they might settle for about girls of no matter pressure.

Within the bosom of all this insanity, and plenty added which has but to be spoken, I had appealed the antidotal answerability discover­ing on due exercise space and a rehearing was ordered in October ‘91. It took till January ‘92 to just accept the audition in SHU.

I used to be afresh denied due exercise within the audition prepa­ration part. I fabricated an enormous affair out of this to the audition lieutenant. To my abruptness he agreed and entered a award of not responsible. I used to be after ordered seem from SHU.

As an alternative of actuality launched, I used to be issued an common SHU appellation on the antic affectation that there isn’t a allowance for me elsewhere. Aback actuality at SHU I had develop into one of many eight referred to as plaintiffs in an elegant exercise clothes adjoin condi­tions on the bastille and had filed a aerial quantity of administra­tive complaints, citizen’s complaints adjoin SHU guards and baronial authoritative personnel, and a civilian rights exercise adjoin Folsom.

My actionable assimilation in SHU is retal­iation for equipment my acknowledged rights. Think about actuality absolved of an biased accusation and afresh issued an common SHU appellation for really annihilation added than equipment my conscience.

There may be quite a lot of task to be completed and acknowledged accoutrement to be man­ufactured with which to blast these agnostic within the bench of their pants as adamantine as one can and entry what little added motion one is accustomed beneath the “legal guidelines” of this base association that’s rent with contradictions and rotten to the core.

This commodity initially appeared in Bastille Information Service (PNS), affair 39 (January-February 1993). It’s republished within the Bay Look with the creator’s permission. Lofofora Contreras, alias Amazon Ice Queen, charcoal confined within the California Division of Corrections. Ship our sister some adulation and lightweight: Eva Contreraz, C45857, KVSP C-7-109, P.O. Field 5103, Delano CA 93216. She appeared 3 times on 60 Minutes, already anniversary in 1993, 1994 and 1995.

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